Stop Comparing and Start Living

I posted a quote on my Instagram stories the other day. It read:

“Ignore what everyone else is doing and achieving. Your life is about breaking your very own limits and outgrowing yourself to live your very own best life. You are not in competition with anyone else. So focus on pushing to undo your past, not other people.”

The response I got was both astounding and sad. I had so many people reach out to me, thanking me for the reminder. That they too had been spiraling into the comparison trap lately – and that’s exactly what is is: a trap.

Not only as a girl, growing up and living in the age of social media and online bullies but as a blogger, who works in a very competitive and sometimes vain industry, I have long struggled with comparison. I can understand and sympathise with anyone who feels they’re not good enough.

Truth is, all comparison does it stunt your own growth and trick you into viewing your achievements as some sort of failure. You hit 10k but another girl hit 20k and now you start to feel bad. You thought you looked good in that outfit but you think someone else looks better in it. When does it stop? When is good enough?

I think at times we all need a reminder that no good can ever come of comparing your life to another’s. It’s so easy to get lost on Instagram and the next thing you know you’ve just compared yourself to your friend’s cousin’s, sister who’s a swimwear model currently in the Maldives.

I get it. We’ve all been there.

It’s human nature to compare but all it does it set you back. It takes eyes off YOUR goals and starts to focus them on others. Sometimes we need to take a step back and realise life isn’t a competition; there isn’t one kind of beauty, style, blogger or success.

Instead of wasting your time and energy over-analyzing others, here’s a few things you could do instead.

  1. GET OFF THE INTERNET & live in the real world. Catch up with a friend, read a book, go for a walk outside. Put your energy into something productive.
  2. Unfollow. Social media can be a great source of inspiration, but if it triggers inadequacy, self-doubt, and frustration, then maybe it’s time for a detox.
  3. Set your own goals. Improve on those from yesterday. You are the only person you can compare yourself with.

In a world that’s where everyone is trying to be like everyone else, I think it’s pretty cool to be different. To sum this up, here’s a few of my favourite quotes I thought I’d leave with you:

“Another woman’s beauty is not the absence of your own beauty.”

“Be like Michael Phelps. Stay in your own lane. Keep swimming forward & don’t worry about what everyone else is doing. Don’t look at other lanes. Just keep swimming.” – Bethenny Frankel

“We won’t be distracted by comparison if we are captivated with purpose.”

“You are way cooler than your feed.”

“How to be successful: Focus on your own shit.”

“To wish you were someone else is to waste the person you are.” – Sven Goran Eriksson

What are your thoughts on comparison? Is it something you struggle with? How do you overcome those feelings?

  • Right on! Amen 🙏🏼 you said it Beautiful Girl! 👍🏼💗👍🏼

    🌸🍃LA BIJOUX BELLA 🌸🍃| By Mia | A Creative Lifestyle Blog

    • Thanks for all the love girl! You are so lovely! x

  • I absolutely love this! It can be so easy to get consumed into a world of competition and comparing when online, and I love the whole logging off and living for now!

    I hope you have a great Wednesday!
    Michael
    https://www.mileinmyglasses.com

    • So glad you agree Michael! It’s too easy to lose yourself in it. Sometimes we all just need to unplug :) x

  • I agree totally with you. Although it’s not an easy habit to break. It is important to identify the triggers and work on it. This will go a long way. Nice post!

    http://www.onyixtus.com

    • Definitely agree! Not an easy feat at all. It’s something I still struggle with but gets better over time :) x

  • Annie

    Thanks so much for this post! They say comparison is the thief of joy and I really believe that’s true.
    x
    http://www.latteandluxe.com

    • So so true!! Thank you for the love & so glad you agree :) x

  • Like you said, as a blogger we are always compering ourselves to other bloggers. I guess that’s part of the game. However, the last year social media it’s been quite tuff to be part of so I learned to take some days off once in a while and focus on my stuff only. Thanks for sharing!

    https://mihabalan.com/2018/01/15/2-boss-lady-blazers-work-wear-everything/

    • Couldn’t agree more – the last year in particular has been a struggle as instagram has grown and everyone has been producing overly perfect images! Always so refreshing to unplug for a while :) x

  • Neha Walia

    This was such a good read, at some point or the other I think hon somehow end up comparing yourself. Sometimes you might even do it unknowingly and before you know if triggers negativity. I loved reading this positive article which says – you are enough!!!

    • So glad you agree Neha! I find myself doing it unknowingly too. Such a bad habit! You are always enough!! :) x

  • The Gold Lipstick

    Absolutely love it!!

    Mireia from TGL
    https://thegoldlipstick.com/

  • In love with your dress! I realised lately that I spend far too much of my time on social media and I need to live more in the moment.

    • Isn’t it cute?! Oh girl you and me both. It’s one of my goals this year to go offline more often! X

  • Kelsey Kennedy

    Beautiful post! Love the outfit. :)

    Kelseygayle.com

    • Thank you Kelsey! :) x

  • I think we all struggle with comparison from time to time. I know I do & it can really get me down, especially when you feel like you’re behind the 8 ball compared to your peers. Regarding the internet, I make sure to unplug of a weekend & on holidays so that I get a break from it all. It’s not healthy to live your life through a screen & it’s not something I wish to do either.

    That last quote from Sven Goran Eriksson really hit home as I’ve been in that position so many times before, particularly in the last year. It really sucks, but eventually I snap out of it.

    Shell // The Novice Life

    • I totally agree. It isn’t healthy to live through a screen – I’m really due for a social media detox (a bit harder when it’s your join though!). I love the Sven Goran quote. I’m so so glad it resonated with you too! x

  • As you’d know I take very regular breaks from online now and I love it! It keeps me feeling fresh and nurtures those real world connections.

    Sarah | More Than Adored

    • I need to follow in your footsteps. It’s just so hard when it’s your job & a workaholic. Real world connections are so much more important! x

  • mylifeingreens

    This is such a great read. I wrote a blog post similar to this yesterday. Comparing ourselves to others only makes us to not appreciate how special and worthy we are. please, check out my blog at

    http://www.mylifeingreens.com

    • Thank you girl! Oh I will have to check it out now :) x

  • It’s nice to be reminded of this, I think the thing that resonates the most with me is the unfollowing thing. I often keep following accounts because they are aspirational to me, but lately I’ve been trying to detach myself from accounts like this, because so often I find that they just aren’t accurate portrayals of real people’s lives. Great post x

    • Yes! Totally agree with you. I recently unfollowed so many accounts that were making me feel terrible about myself. It helped so much! x

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    I love it! It keeps me feeling fresh and nurtures those real world connections. hotmail sign up

  • Wow, I really loved this post. Definitely need to reminded of this. I like your point about how by you comparing yourself to other, its not helping you move forward and thats so true! Big eye opener!

    jayolivia.blogspot.ca

    • Makes me so happy this post helped in some way! Thank you so much for the love x

  • such beauty full post, very good tips, i will try, thank you.
    http://www.yogahealthsolution.com

  • Thank you. I needed to read this. I even wrote down a few of the quotes you mentioned to remind myself as I continue to write content for my fairly new blog. I think the crazy beautiful travel photos on Instagram are the ones that get me. There’s a balance between inspiration and comparison, as well as what is popular and what is you. Love your writing and authenticity!
    TheBackpackArtist.com

  • Kintuk chakravorty

    Thankyou for wrtitng on this subject, as a teen its all natural to me to compare and get jealous of others. But this post changed my mind.

  • Crystal

    TBH as a teen, it’s so hard not to compare yourself with others. And I’m also a swimmer so it makes it harder because I swim with all these amazing people and they all have JOs and I have people on my team that have nationals. I just joined the team half a month ago and came her from a team that didn’t have the training I needed in order to be great. I use these apps called swim counts and meet mobile. They are apps swimmers use to stalk others times. I check up on the swimmers from my other team to see how they are doing and some of them are like ten and as fast as me. It makes me feel slow because their ten and I’m 12 going on 13.

  • Nafeesah Leverett

    As someone who has only been blogging for a few months, this spoke to me on so many levels. I know that every comes in Gods timing. If you jump in too fast you can fall and crash. So that’s why we all experience life on different terms. Everyone cant handle the same things. I have detox from Instagram as well because I needed to focus on me and myself. Now I can follow my role models without doubting myself, but as inspiration because I saw where they started and how with time, hard work, hustle, patience and prayer what God has done for them. Great read.

  • SelfCare First

    This is a great post. I completely agree with you that it is easy to get caught up in comparisons and doubting yourself. I have recently started a youtube channel (SelfCare First) that I have been very nervous about it, but I finally had the courage to start it and try to connect with others.