7 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others




Comparison destroys nearly every flicker of happiness and joy. It’s something a lot of us deal with day to day, and it’s something I have personally struggled with as the digital world becomes more apparent. It’s so easy to compare your life, career and appearance to someone you only know through Instagram, as wrong as it sounds. This goes especially for women, who are in the habit of comparing their worst selves with other women’s best selves. Here’s a few habits I’ve adapted to help turn the focus from other people back to myself.

1. Self-acceptance

“Accept what you can’t change, and change what you can.”

Comparing yourself to others will not help you move forward or become any better. It will only ever make you question your abilities and create self-doubt. Confidence begins with self-acceptance and knowing your self worth, so you wont feel the need to compare.

There are times I have been so deeply rooted into self-criticism, constantly trying to prove myself to gain approval from everyone and even at the height of praise and approval, I would still fault myself wishing I had qualities from others. But the thing is, you don’t need to be accepted by others, you only need to accept yourself. The rule to self-acceptance is simple: No matter what you need to do to accomplish, you do it by approving of yourself first and last. Your own opinion is the one that matters most.

2. Focus on your strengths

“Focus on emphasizing your strengths instead of fixing your weaknesses.”

Using your strengths doesn’t mean ignoring our weaker areas, but it’s a question of emphasis. Positive psychology argues that if we focus on developing and using more of our strengths it will help us to get the best from ourselves and feel happier.

Along with many people I’m guilty of comparing my weaknesses to someone else’s accomplishments and it’s only ever lead to a downward spiral. You need to find your own strengths and own them. Celebrate them! Feel good about them and work on using them to your best advantage.


3. Be okay with imperfection

I’ve mentioned before that perfectionism is something I have always struggled with and it’s hindered a lot of opportunities. Nothing is ever going to be perfect and I’m learning to embrace it. I’m striving for progress, not perfection. Everyone has imperfections and it’s what makes you unique. Plus, perfection can be kind of a bore sometimes, no?


4. Only compete with yourself

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” 

Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. We are all on a journey, to find something, to become something, to learn, to create and it happens for everyone at different rates. Focus on YOUR journey. Don’t concern yourself with what everyone else is doing. Don’t hold yourself to the standards of other people wishing you can be better than the next person. It’s unnecessary to create competition between people, especially as bloggers, we should be collaborating not competing.


5. Practice gratitude

 “When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” – Lao Tzu

Feeling gratitude is one of the most beneficial ways to feel more inner peace. We can’t control what happens around us or to us, but we can always control how we react. Comparing ourselves to others will always rob us of gratitude because we it makes us believe we’re not good enough and we want more. This habit has the benefit of observing how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and everything good you have done. I’m still a work in progress with this one but I am working on it.


6. Recognize everyone is different

“Don’t be afraid to be different, be afraid to be the same as everyone else.”

You are unique, there is no one else exactly like you. Celebrate that it makes you different. There is no point in trying to compare yourself in areas that are not comparable. There is no need to feel compelled to live a life that is just like someone else’s, because you are different from that person. You are too unique to compare fairly. Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. That’s what sets you apart from everyone else and it’s what you should embrace.


7. Surround yourself with the right people

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” – Edmund Lee

You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those weighing you down.

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Do you often compare yourself to others? Do you have any tips or habits to share? I would very much love to hear from you guys!