7 Ways to Stop Comparing Yourself to Others

thesundaychapter.com

 

Comparison

Comparison destroys nearly every flicker of happiness and joy. It’s something a lot of us deal with day to day, and it’s something I have personally struggled with as the digital world becomes more apparent. It’s so easy to compare your life, career and appearance to someone you only know through Instagram, as wrong as it sounds. This goes especially for women, who are in the habit of comparing their worst selves with other women’s best selves. Here’s a few habits I’ve adapted to help turn the focus from other people back to myself.

1. Self-acceptance

“Accept what you can’t change, and change what you can.”

Comparing yourself to others will not help you move forward or become any better. It will only ever make you question your abilities and create self-doubt. Confidence begins with self-acceptance and knowing your self worth, so you wont feel the need to compare.

There are times I have been so deeply rooted into self-criticism, constantly trying to prove myself to gain approval from everyone and even at the height of praise and approval, I would still fault myself wishing I had qualities from others. But the thing is, you don’t need to be accepted by others, you only need to accept yourself. The rule to self-acceptance is simple: No matter what you need to do to accomplish, you do it by approving of yourself first and last. Your own opinion is the one that matters most.

2. Focus on your strengths

“Focus on emphasizing your strengths instead of fixing your weaknesses.”

Using your strengths doesn’t mean ignoring our weaker areas, but it’s a question of emphasis. Positive psychology argues that if we focus on developing and using more of our strengths it will help us to get the best from ourselves and feel happier.

Along with many people I’m guilty of comparing my weaknesses to someone else’s accomplishments and it’s only ever lead to a downward spiral. You need to find your own strengths and own them. Celebrate them! Feel good about them and work on using them to your best advantage.

thesundaychapter.com

3. Be okay with imperfection

I’ve mentioned before that perfectionism is something I have always struggled with and it’s hindered a lot of opportunities. Nothing is ever going to be perfect and I’m learning to embrace it. I’m striving for progress, not perfection. Everyone has imperfections and it’s what makes you unique. Plus, perfection can be kind of a bore sometimes, no?

thesundaychapter.com
thesundaychapter.com

4. Only compete with yourself

“Always be a first-rate version of yourself, instead of a second-rate version of somebody else.” 

Don’t compare yourself to others, compare yourself to the person you were yesterday. We are all on a journey, to find something, to become something, to learn, to create and it happens for everyone at different rates. Focus on YOUR journey. Don’t concern yourself with what everyone else is doing. Don’t hold yourself to the standards of other people wishing you can be better than the next person. It’s unnecessary to create competition between people, especially as bloggers, we should be collaborating not competing.

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5. Practice gratitude

 “When you realize there is nothing lacking, the whole world belongs to you.” – Lao Tzu

Feeling gratitude is one of the most beneficial ways to feel more inner peace. We can’t control what happens around us or to us, but we can always control how we react. Comparing ourselves to others will always rob us of gratitude because we it makes us believe we’re not good enough and we want more. This habit has the benefit of observing how far you have come, the obstacles you have overcome and everything good you have done. I’m still a work in progress with this one but I am working on it.

thesundaychapter.com
thesundaychapter.com

6. Recognize everyone is different

“Don’t be afraid to be different, be afraid to be the same as everyone else.”

You are unique, there is no one else exactly like you. Celebrate that it makes you different. There is no point in trying to compare yourself in areas that are not comparable. There is no need to feel compelled to live a life that is just like someone else’s, because you are different from that person. You are too unique to compare fairly. Your gifts and talents and successes and contributions and value are entirely unique to you and your purpose in this world. That’s what sets you apart from everyone else and it’s what you should embrace.

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7. Surround yourself with the right people

“Surround yourself with the dreamers and the doers, the believers and thinkers, but most of all, surround yourself with those who see the greatness within you, even when you don’t see it yourself.” – Edmund Lee

You are only as good as the people you surround yourself with, so be brave enough to let go of those weighing you down.

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Do you often compare yourself to others? Do you have any tips or habits to share? I would very much love to hear from you guys!
  • Sheridan Grady

    Such a lovely post! It’s very difficult to not compare yourself to others but it is definitely important that we don’t! Great tips xx

    http://www.shayholly.co.uk

    • Thanks so much Sheridan :) x

  • nikki Smith

    a well written and helpful post. Came across this at the right time as have been really down lately because I keep comparing myself to others…sometimes I don’t even realise it.
    Nikki x lipstickdrawer.blogspot.co.uk

    • Thank you Nikki! I don’t even realize myself sometimes – definitely a habit we both need to kick! x

  • I am so bad at comparing myself to others it’s ridiculous! Thanks for the helpful tips this is something I really want to work on this summer :]
    The Fernweh Wolf / Travel & Lifestyle Blog

    • Thanks Shelby! You and me both :) x

  • Thank you so much for sharing this post. Is it really hard not to compare ourselves to others, especially in the online world, but its so much more productive and positive to only focus on improving yourselves against who you were yesterday and to feel happiness for the successes of others.

    Allegra xx

    http://www.allegraghiloni.wordpress.com

    • Love your comment Allegra! Improving ourselves will make us much happier than improving against someone else :) x

  • Holly Skelton

    LOVE your outfit here. Great post, so inspiring :-)

    • Thanks so much Holly! x

  • I think everyone suffers from comparisons once in a while, but I’ve definitely had moments where it has really sucked me in and stolen my joy! Thanks for these tips (and I love your gorgeous, simple style.)

    • Totally agree Jennifer! & thank you so much x

  • I definitely compare myself to everyone all the time it’s pretty bad! Think I need to take some of your tips :) ps you and your outfit look gorgeous in this post!!

    elwillmer.blogspot.co.uk
    xx

    • It’s the worst habit, isn’t it?! Thanks so much Ellie! x

  • This post is very helpful. x

    http://nicole-emily-heath.blogspot.com.au/

  • I needed to read this this morning!! Thank you, such motivating post! X

    http://www.mauveovermatter.com

    • Thank you so much! So happy you found it motivating :) x

  • Very great article.
    http://www.yvesofstyle.com

  • I literally just wrote a post about this topic a couple weeks ago (haven’t published it yet)! Yours is so good, though. Great points!

    Also, your photos are absolutely stunning! I love all of the model shots you have been doing lately. You look beautiful :)

    xo, mikéla / simplydavelyn.com

    • Can’t wait to read yours :) aw thank you haha, certainly no model but I loved the outfit! x

  • This was beautifully written. Loved reading every word. Definitely will reread this whenever I need it. :)

    http://www.llindatt.com

    • Thank you Linda!! So so happy you found it helpful :) x

  • “Don’t be afraid to be different, be afraid to be the same as everyone else” I like that one!
    I think it’s natural for us to keep comparing ourselves to one another and wish we had different features or qualities etc. I guess one day I’ll be able to love being in my own skin and stop comparing myself to other people after all this is who I am for the rest of my life x

    Claire | My Little Memoir

    • One of my faves! It’s such a bad habit that we’re all guilty of! Hopefully one day for you & me both :) x

  • Love this post! You write about things that should be obvious but are so very easy to forget. Sometimes the only thing you need is for someone to remind you about these things! :) x

  • Great post, I particularly identify with number 4. I only ever compete with myself when it comes to things like uni grades and sports performance because everyone has different strengths! I’m also convinced that my physique/bone structure makes it impossible for me to run as fast as other people (haha ok maybe I’m just copping out..) so I only ever look at my past performance when judging how well I’m doing xxx
    Lucy @ La Lingua | Food, Travel, Italy

  • Sabina

    This is a very inspirational read – thanks for sharing! Sometimes it’s hard to remind ourselves about the strengths, and we tend to see the weaknesses, but we should be our best cheerleaders in life! :)

    Sabina | http://www.IveGotSunshine.com

  • This is a very beautiful and encouraging post, thanks for sharing!

    Diana | thechicdiary.com

  • Diana Maria

    What a wonderful and inspiring post! I tend to get caught in comparing myself to others and constantly looking at my negative traits- but that can be so damaging to your self esteem and ability to love yourself! I definitely agree that focusing more on your strengths and accepting yourself are such important things to do. It sounds so simple, but it really is a lot of work although I’ve found it to be so worth it! :) Thank you for this post!

    My Lovelier Days

  • Nikki L

    Great tips, thanks for sharing them! x
    http://www.twentysomethingmuddle.com

  • Tina Tomlinson

    This is so so true and I find it very easy to help others do the above and give great advice along these lines but I do not listen to it myself! Thank you for sharing and u think I need to read it through once a day to help me focus on the positive in myself rather than the negative and also giving everything I have to everyone else X

  • Marianela Pereyra

    Such a good read! Thanks for these terrific tips. It’s true. You need to start appreciating what you have and focus on it. Note down things you are grateful for =)

  • Great inspiring post, love the outfit as well especially the heels

    http://www.lucywachowe.co.uk

  • ImaMe

    Be ok with imperfection-YES! As Halle Berry replied to a mean tweet about her lop sided boobs “well, when they’re real, that happens.” <3