Why I Never Want to Settle Down

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Settling. It’s always been a depressing word to me. It’s kind of thinking to yourself “that will do” then crawling into a corner and pitching a tent.

I don’t want to settle down into a 9-5 job. Not because I don’t want to work, but because I know that won’t give me any sense of fulfillment. I’m a full time blogger, a job that didn’t even exist 10 years ago. I work crazy hours and RIDICULOUS amounts to make blogging my full time job but that’s part of why it keeps me so passionate. I love a challenge. I’m happy to give up years of my life living like people won’t, to live the rest like people can’t. I never want to stop moving, traveling, creating and adventuring.

to settle:

1 :  to become quiet, calm, or orderly.

2 : to begin to live a quiet and steady life by getting a regular job, getting married, etc.

3 :  to put oneself into a comfortable position.

4 :  to become quiet and begin giving one’s attention to something.

I’ve never wanted comfort, quiet or anything mediocre. I’ve never wanted to settle down. When I look at my future, I don’t see my life in the same house, same town, and same job. I see constant change. I don’t believe in settling down because that term implies that the current path I’m on isn’t valid.

It’s not always about living your life the way people have lived before you.

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As I’m turning 22 next month, everyday I see more people I know start to knuckle down and get serious. They’re buying houses, they’re getting engaged and they’re beginning to think about starting families (if they haven’t already).

From a young age, we’re taught that “settling down” is critical to our success, that we’re all apart of the chase for THE job, THE relationship, THE house & THE family.

It’s almost as if we’re made to be a failure if we don’t end up with those things by a certain age.

Just to be clear, there is no shame in wanting the trappings of settling down if they provide you with personal fulfillment. It scares me to imagine myself in so much commitment, but some people live for that stability. I’m here to say it’s okay if that’s not what you want. Be honest with yourself. It doesn’t make you a failure.

Success is being the best version of yourself that you can possibly be. It means living the exact life you want to live every single day you wake up and get out of bed.

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It takes someone strong to go against the crowd in a world that is accustomed to settling with anything, just to say they have something.

And yes, it goes for relationships too. Why is it we have to find someone we love to “settle down” with?

I was that girl totally against relationships. I would literally shudder at the thought. Why the hell would I ever want to be tied down? What kind of fun is that?

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But the truth is, when you find the right person, you shouldn’t feel tied down. Relationships are about searching and looking for the things you desire in life together. No relationship would ever get anywhere if it was tying the people in it down.

I came across this quote and I really just couldn’t have worded it any better.

A relationship is a newfound kind of freedom where you have the permission to not only chase your own desires but do it with someone you adores and whose goals perhaps match yours too. A relationship is the comfortable silence on a long drive, making you feel like you’re a soaring balloon, flying higher and higher without anybody holding you back.

You have the freedom to discover their deepest desires as well as sharing yours. You’re constantly learning and growing – but now you’re doing it together.

It doesn’t make sense to me when someone says they want to be single because they never want to settle down, or that freedom is synonymous with being single.

I believe in monogamous relationships, but I don’t believe in settling down. Life is too short to ever settle. There is so much adventure in the world. Go find it. And if you can do it with someone you love, all the better.

Why can’t we run free together?

I want to keep moving until I no longer can. I want my life to be a great big adventure – it’s too short for anything else.

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What are your thoughts on “settling”? I’d LOVE to hear them all. Have you got any experiences? Opinions?